Fake Dating Ads

by Geoffrey James

It used to be that the only place to check the dating personal ads was in the pages of a trashy weekly paper, where they were filed not far from the massage and escort ads.  The Internet, however, has changed all of that.  It’s now possible for single (and not-so-single) men and women to scan thousands of online advertisements in order to find a potential companion. 

While many online personal ads are from real people, a number are fake entries from online pornographers who are attempting to attract lonely-but-not-too-bright guys to girly photo Web sites. What’s amusing about the bogus ads is that they’re so patently phony that it’s incredible that anyone would ever fall for them.

 For example, an ad entitled “Seeking A Wild Night Out” describes its owner as a “Medical Secretary” with a height of 5’7” and a weight of 133lbs.  Now, the weight alone should be enough to clue the reader that something’s off kilter, because real personal ads from real women tend to waltz around the weight issue, either leaving the field blank or attempting to spin reality with descriptions like “curvy,” “cuddly,” “voluptuous,” “plush,” or even “thick.”  This “medical secretary” (we learn) is “32 year old (and) currently seperated and pending divorce (and) just needs a night out on the town and if we hit it off possibly breakfast in the morning.” The reader of the ad, of course, is supposed to get the picture of a desperate, beautiful woman just waiting to have sex with some stranger -- the kind of creature that only exists in the fantasy world of a man who is totally clueless about women.  At the end of the ad is a pointer to www.realmatch.com, a pay-per-view site masquerading as a dating site.

Many of the fake ads try to explain why the ad writer is acting contrary to every written and unwritten law of dating and every behavioral pattern of the human female.  For example, an ad from a “36 year old, married 15 years” claims to be “seeking discrete massage” because her husband “travels extensively and is seldome home).”  This lonely wife would like to “get together one or two afternoons a week to share a sensual massage,” which she thinks “could be fun for both of us.”  The ad ends with a heartfelt: “please reply” to an e-mail address that only an idiot would think is real: brenda7@getnakedmail.com.

With some fake you can almost see the cigar-chomping pornographer in the background, busily trying to write something that will drum up a few clicks.  A good example is the ad entitled “Young Gal looking for love.”  The last time that anybody under 55 used the word “Gal” in Boston was in 1956 but, despite this, the “swf, 21 (is) very open sexually, and loves to explore.” Like most young women, she definitely wants to date somebody who is age appropriate so, “if your under the age of 60, and interested, please e-mail me.”  Not surprisingly, she also has a web site, www.tws.com/robyndd, which contains a few pictures of some fetching young model and which also solicits admission, for a fee, to an adult web site.

One particularly elaborate fake personal is entitled “SEXY EXECUTIVE WOMAN.”  According to the ad, she is “confident but not conceited (and) a very attractive, well grounded woman (who will) try anything once and enjoys dinning out.”  This would-be inamorata is picky about her men because “it’s hard to form an attraction to someone who’s chest is smaller than mine.” We also learn that the writer is “very real” and feels that “genuine romance realy is wonderfull.” In order to respond, the reader is directed to the Web site http://www.quddles.com/htf/hotf8.htm, and asked to pay a non-refundable  $24.95 a month membership fee.  To make matters worse, the fee is automatically renewed, which means that if a guy signs up, his credit card will receive a new charge every month, unless he can somehow discover how to cancel the subscription.  Not to worry, though, a year-long membership at $99.95 is available at “only $7.95 per month; our best deal!”

You’d think that nobody would be stupid enough to fall for these patently fake ads.  You’d be wrong, though.  An neighbor of mine who runs a large pornographic Web site says that come-on ads of this type often attract “hundreds” of responses and since personal ads cost next to nothing to place (many sites are free), bogus ads are one of the most effective ways that Internet pornographers acquire new customers.

According to my friend, the conversion rate for this form of advertising approaches an astounding one in seven, which means that for every seven pinheads who follow the link to the paid site, at least one is stupid enough to believe that he’s actually latched onto something hot.

That explains why the Internet pornographers place bogus ads, but why does Digital City allow them in the first place?  Despite repeated requests for an interview, Digital City isn’t talking.  However, since Digital City’s personals are offered as a free service, there’s probably little financial incentive to filter out the spurious come-ons.  However, Digital City does offer a reader complaint function, which eventually results in the removal of the offending ad.   Despite this, the same ads keep popping up, week after week, as tribute to the wisdom of P.T. Barnum (or was it W.C. Fields?) who said: “There’s a sucker born every minute.”

Byline: Geoffrey James (www.geoffreyjames.com) is the author of numerous articles and books on high tech business.